DAD . Whatsapp. Settimo Mese

Anno nuovo stesse gioie. Ok non è vero. Le gioie sono diventate poche, pochissime.

Non dormo e siamo in dad. Eh già! Alla fine la abbiamo presa in pieno, ed è stato come prendere un Frecciarossa dritto in faccia, hanno deciso di chiudere tutto il plesso e così questi 700 , circa, alunni di un età compresa tra i 6 anni e i 14 sono in Didattica a Distanza con un preavviso di 48 ore (festivi, ce lo hanno comunicato venerdì pomeriggio e loro il sabato non vanno a scuola).

Avete mai visto una lezione in questa modalità?

NO?

Certo, perché bisogna arrivarci alla lezione, vi capisco. Anche noi la stavamo per perdere.

Siamo pronte, Maria ed io.

Cerco l’ orario delle lezioni che lo si trova, in teoria, sia sulla mail scolastica ( classroom è di gmail e entra sempre in contrasto con gli altri miei account Google) che sui vari gruppi Whatsapp (quello ufficiale della classe, il sottogruppo, il gruppo delle mamme del parco, il gruppo delle mamme alcolizzate.. In realtà sono in tutti i gruppi tranne in quello ufficiale, storia lunga) della classe.

Per facilità scelgo di chiedere su WA il link diretto.

“Mamma mentre fai qui posso giocare con i lego?”

“Si, ma te le dico, ci metto un attimo “

Apro Whatsapp.

Sottogruppo

Io:- Mamme il link?-

Mamma 1 :-Aspe-

Mamma 2:-Aiutooooo la pass della mail di Karol!-

Mamma9 sta registrando..

Mamma3:- keep Calm e bevi vino-

questo messaggio è stato cancellato

Mamma4:- Parco oggi?-

io:-Ma che parco.. Il link????-

Mamma 1 sta scrivendo

Mamma4 :-Mamme cosa abbiamo ora Geografia, mate… cosa?!-

Mamma3 :-Oh raga mi sono persa..che giorno è?-

Mamma 1 sta scrivendo

io:-Trovato! Italiano, ecco il link!…..-

Mamma 1 sta scrivendo

Mamma5:-No, quello è sbagliato, l’hanno corretto ieri sera-

Io:-ok, ce lo giri?-

Mamma5:- Sta sulla mail..Dai muovetevi stiamo tutti in chat-

wtf.

Mamma2:- La pass.. Mo chiamo in segreteria..-

Mamma 1 sta scrivendo

Mamma5:- Ecco il link…-

GruppoVino:

Mamma2:-Cara Mamma5 c’è un motivo se ti teniamo in questa chat e non è per la tua simpatia, sto benedetto di link ce lo potevi girare anche subito, no? –

Mamma3:-Lascia stare, basta che ce lo gira, odio la dad l’ho già detto?-

Mamma1:- Ma si infatti, ci serve una nerd che ci da le indicazioni, oh ma un aperitivo quando ce lo facciamo?-

Mamma7 sta registrando..

Sottogruppo

Io:-Grazie-

Mamma3:-Grazie @mamma5-

Mamma 1 sta scrivendo

Accediamo alla lezione. Ah, che bello madrelingua. Volevo vedere questa lezione. Ci posizioniamo Maria davanti il pc, io accanto a lei in maniera da non farmi vedere.

“Good Morning , Maria”

“Gud monnin Mam” replica la mia cucciola

“Take a piece of paper and write the date with the red pen ..”

Maria si gira verso di me “Non ho apito..”

“Diglielo”

“MAM i dont anders..ndtgrskdnd”

“What did you say Maria?”

” Ai dont andertnklfvnaepihfosd”

“MHMHMHMH say it well, please”

Sbuffo e giro il pc verso di me.

“Maestra, non ha capito che deve fare” Eh lo so che non si fa ma che cavolo. Ti capisco solo io qui. Hai davanti dei bambini di 6 anni con nonni di ottanta che li aiutano, papà che stanno lavorando in smartworking (capirai quanto smart può essere il loro lavoro con la dad in sottofondo) falle più semplici ste lezioni. Jamme mam , capiamoci.

“Ok Maria listen..” E ricomincia con il pippone in lingua.

“Mamma non capisco” mi guarda con i suoi occhioni semilucidi, la accarezzo e la conforto. “Cucciola, nessuno dei tuoi compagni ha capito, tranquilla. Guarda nessuno sta facendo quello che ha detto mam”

“Ma che ha detto?”

“Mammina sta dicendo che bisogna scrivere la data sul foglio con la penna rossa”

“Ah, ok ora lo faccio”

Guardo Whatsapp sul telefono

Gruppovino:

Mamma2 :-Ma che dice questa? Che palle sta dad-

Io:-Scrivere la data in rosso-

mamma6:- Mia figlia è da sola con mamma-

Mamma7 : audio 15minuti.

io:-Ma tua madre ha 80 anni..Come fa?-

Mamma6:- Sono a lavoro, ferie finite, permessi finiti…6 mesi di cig, non posso mettermi in congedo..-

Mamma3:- Vino, ci vuole il vinoooo-

Seguono svariate gif con calici di vino rosso.

Torno alla lezione.

“Mamma che dice?”

“Chiede se avete finito”

Maria accende il microfono :”Yess mam” e segue il coro degli altri bambini.

“Ok perfect now take a sheet, cut it round and draw the earth”.

Sento 2 occhietti che mi guardano. E penso che era meglio non sapere.

Le traduco tutto e si mette subito all’opera.

Riprendo il telefono in mano.

Sottogruppo.

Mamma 1 sta scrivendo

Mamma2:- Ma che vuole?”

Mamma4:- Dopo clil* che abbiamo?-

Mamma5:-Matematica-

Sconosciuto:-Sono stato aggiunto in chat da mia moglie che è a lavoro. Sono il papà di Chiara-

Mamma5:- Ciao papà di Chiara-

Mamma3:-Ciao-

Mamma2:-Ciao-

Mamma 1 sta scrivendo

“Ok children the lesson is finished”

La voce di mam ci ridesta dalla chat e tutti esultiamo. Finita.

Questa è la dad. Non è fondata sulla scuola, ma sulle mamme e sui papà che restano a casa con i figli. Nella classe di Maria ci sono stati genitori che hanno dovuto lasciare la prole con i nonni di 80 anni ad aiutarli (chi aiuta chi è da capire..), alcuni bambini che non avevano i nonni nella stessa città sono andati da loro per due settimane.

Il congedo per dad viene retribuito al 50% ma non basta. Abbiamo quasi tutti un mutuo da pagare, e veniamo per la maggior parte di noi da interi mesi di cig. Alcune aziende hanno appena ripreso a lavorare e non possono permettersi operai che prendono i congedi. Se l’Italia deve ripartire lo deve fare in maniera opportuna.

*CLIL: Programma del percorso internazionale che prevede un insegnante madrelingua svolgere diverse lezioni.

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